


Realisations

by shadowhive



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Blow Job, Brothers to Lovers, First Time, M/M, Sibling Incest, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 22:05:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17271983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowhive/pseuds/shadowhive
Summary: Mikey comes to realise something about himself and his brother after accidentally catching him having sex.





	Realisations

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MistressKat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressKat/gifts).



> Hope you like it!

It started when he was 18.

He’d gone to his brother’s apartment, intending to surprise him. Since he’d moved out to go to art college Mikey missed his big brother. He missed hanging out with him, watching dumb movies or reading comic books while Gerard worked on his art. He intended to rekindle some of those memories. To watch what films he had, maybe order a pizza and generally catch up.

Instead as soon as he entered the apartment, using the spare key Gerard had given him, he heard noises. Groans. And, like a moth to a flame, Mikey followed them to their source. He peeked into Gerard’s bedroom through a crack in the door and he saw him. He was bent over his bed, with a guy behind him, who had thick curls hanging over his shoulders. They were naked and moving and...

Mikey bolted.

Mikey knew his brother was gay. It wasn’t as if it was a surprise, he’d known his brother was gay for years now. So why had seeing him... like that with a guy make him run? 

It stuck with him though. For the next days and weeks he’d think about it. Not just think about it, but be bothered by it. At first Mikey thought he had some kind of internalised homophobia and he hated himself for it. He thought he had no problem with Gerard’s sexuality, so why was it bothering him now?

After awhile he convinced himself that he felt this way not because his brother was with a dude but because he’d seen something he shouldn’t have. It was just guilt, at least that’s what he told himself.

Over the next months Mikey saw Gerard around town, in bars or at gigs and every time he saw him with a guy it was a different one. It was some punk kid, or a skinny guy with jet black hair, or even some dude with ginger hair that didn’t look like the type that was into dudes. Still, something about it bothered him. Gerard was a grown man all, it was his business how many boyfriends he had and who he slept with.

It gnawed at him.

Eventually, he felt like he needed to get it out, somewhere where he had no one who would judge him for it. He went on a message board and posted under the username KobraKid.

‘So I’ve got an issue and I was hoping you guys could help me out. I have a friend who’s gay and, well. About six months ago I went to his place and I saw him... with another guy. I didn’t mean to, but I just. I turned and ran. And for weeks after I couldn’t get it out of my head. Now, though, I see him with a different guy every time I see him and something about it just... bothers me. At first I worried I might be homophobic, but that doesn’t seem to fit as I haven’t got this problem when I see gay. Guys on tv or anything.

So, yeah. Could you guys help.’

He sighed once he clicked post, feeling like a weight was lifted from his chest. He was also nervous about what the responses would be.

Fun Ghoul: Dude, are you gay? Cause it sounds like you a boner for this guy

Mikey blinked at the first response he got. He was about to type a response when someone else replied.

Jet Star: Ghoul! Don’t be rude. I think, what my friend meant to say is maybe the reason you are thinking these things is because you’re actually jealous of your friend’s partners. That is to say, that you want to be your friend’s boyfriend.

Mikey’s mouth went dry as he read that. In a strange way, it made sense. But at the same time... Gerard was his brother, not just a simple friend.

Party Poison: Jet is right I think. It sounds like, subconsciously at least, you have a crush on your friend. You should probably talk to him, see how he feels. You never know, he might feel the same way.

Fun Ghoul: Jet, sure you put it in more flowery words, but the meaning is the same. Like Party says, go talk to the dude, look your best and try and hop on that dick!

Jet Star: Ghoul!

Fun Ghoul: Or bend him over, whichever’s your preference!

The comments that followed were in general agreement with them. Trickstump, ablack, Bryar, blueandyellow and at least half a dozen others all agreed that he must have some deep seated feelings for him.

Mikey stepped away from the computer, needing to think, to process this information. Maybe they were right, that he was jealous of these guys. He closed his eyes, trying to picture what it would be like to kiss Gerard. 

The kiss was shy, tentative at first. And then Gerard kissed him back, pushing him up against the wall of his apartment, pressing his hips against him. He could feel the beginnings of his brother’s erection against him and he groaned softly. “What do you want Mikey? Tell me...”

Mikey swallowed, shaking himself out of the thought. His cock was hard and aching in his tight pants and he knew, he knew that all those people, those strangers, were right.

He went back on the site, typing a quick reply, ignoring any new messages.

KobraKid: Thanks guys, I think you’re right. How could I have not seen it before? I feel like an idiot. Im gonna go see him this weekend, see if he feels the same.

Party Poison: Good luck dude! I hope it goes well for you! And if not, then it sounds like you’re just realising what you are and that’s amazing too.

Mikey smiled at the guy’s reply, a few more following on from it. Each one made him feel more reassured that this was the right thing. That night, when he went to bed, the thought returned to him and he jerked off. He came imagining what his big brother looked like when he did.

***

The next few days were nerve wracking for Mikey, as he debated what to do, how this would go. Some of the guys on the message board had suggestions, but they were all conflicting.

Jet Star: Just wear something casual

Fun Ghoul: Fuck that, wear something tight, show off your ass!

Party Poison: Wear make up, eye liner looks great on dudes.

Bryar: Just be yourself.

Mikey had debated several outfits, before eventually deciding on a Smashing Pumpkins tee with a pair of jeans and some eyeliner around his eyes. He’d also painted his nails black too to match. He was now standing outside Gerard’s front door, deciding that, for this, he should knock. He didn’t want to let himself in only to find he had company. If he did he’d probably back out and never do this again.

After what felt like an eternity, but was probably only a few minutes, Gerard opened the door with a smile. “Mikey! It’s good to see you!” His smile turned to a grin and Mikey looked him over. Gerard was disheveled, his hair sticking up in random places. He was wearing a plain out t-shirt and pants, with splotches of paint on them. Clearly he has been working on something, probably since he woke considering the state of his hair.

“Hey Gee, I figured you might like some company.” Mikey returned his smile and Gerard nodded, wiping his hands on his pants. 

“Oh yeah, please, come in.” Gerard stepped back, pushing the door open further so Mikey could slip inside. Once he was in the small hall, Gerard pushed the door closed. “I was just working on an art project, just gimme a few minutes to clean it up and I’ll be back with you ok?”

Mikey nodded, moving to the lounge to sit on Gerard’s couch as he ducked into his bedroom. He couldn’t help but smile at the sounds from within, as Gerard tidied his stuff away. A few moments later he heard the sound of a tap running, indicating Gerard was cleaning himself up a bit too. It wasn’t necessary, not really anyway but it made Mikey smile.

He took a deep breath when Gerard appeared, looking a bit less disheveled, his hands clean of any specks of paint. “Sorry about that.” He smiled, moving to sit beside Mikey. “So, how’s my little brother doing?”

Mikey’s breath caught in his throat but he tried his best not to let on. “I’m doing...” He sighed softly and shook his head. “There’s something I need to talk to you about. And... I don’t want you to get mad ok? Promise me you won’t please.”

Gerard’s face instantly turned into one of worry and he wrapped an arm around Mikey’s shoulders. “Nothing could make me mad at you Mikey. Nothing. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

Mikey nodded, taking another breath. Of course his brother would say that, but then he didn’t know what he was going to say. “Ok. I’ve come to realise something, that I like someone.”

Gerard let out a sigh of relief, smiling. “Ok, what’s her name? I’ll help you work out just the right thing to say...”

Mikey shook his head, biting his lip. “It’s not a girl Gee.”

“Oh! That’s great too!” He smiled brightly, then his face scrunched up a bit. “Why would I possibly be mad about that Mikey? Is it one of my ex’s? If so please don’t worry, there’s never been any hard feelings or anything.”

“No, it’s not that, it’s...” Mikey looked at him, at the confused expression on his brother’s face. Mikey decided it was now or never. He leaned forward, crossing the short distance between them and he kissed him. It was soft and brief as he quickly pulled back, casting his gaze away from Gerard. “I... I’m sorry.”

Gerard shifted his hand and Mikey closed his eyes, expecting some sort of rebuke. Or worse, a fist. Instead Gerard’s fingers cupped his chin, tilting his head back to face him. “Hey, Mikey, it’s ok. You have nothing to be sorry for.” He paused, his fingers stroking his cheek, their eyes meeting. “You look beautiful.”

Mikey blinked and Gerard leaned in to kiss him gently, keeping it just as brief as his own kiss. “You...” 

“Yeah.” Gerard swallowed noticeably, his fingers brushing across Mikey’s lips. “You look good, with the eyeliner.” He captured his brother’s lips in another kiss, his lips parting so his tongue could lick over Mikey’s. Mikey opened his mouth slightly for him in response. He wasn’t experienced at kissing, so he let Gerard slip his tongue inside. Gerard was gentle, his soft tongue circling inside his mouth, his fingers stroking along his sides. It was even better then Mikey had expected it to be.

Gerard pulled away from him after a few moments, taking a soft breath. “I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile.” Gerard whispered, looking at Mikey, smiling.

“Really?” Mikey asked, his voice stuttering slightly. He still wasn’t quite sure that this was real, that any minutes he’d wake up in his bed alone.

“Yeah. But I thought you were straight, plus being my brother and all...”

Mikey nodded, leaning in to kiss him again. He felt like he could kiss his brother all day long. Gerard smiled against his lips, parting them to let Mikey lap at his tongue this time. Mikey’s tongue delicately licked at his big brother’s, trying to replicate what he’d done but his movements were more uncertain. 

Mikey took a breath when they stopped kissing, needing air and squirming slightly in his seat. Like whenever he thought about this on his own, he now had an erection in his tight jeans. Mikey blushed, biting his lower lip. “You’re hard right?” Gerard asked, looking deep into his eyes and Mikey nodded, unable to find the words. “It’s ok, I am too.” For a few moments they just looked at each other, with Mikey being unsure what to do. What was the protocol? Should he get his dick out? Scurry off into the bathroom and jerk off? What?

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Gerard smiled, his fingers brushing against his cheek gently. “Just tell me what you want to do.” Mikey looked over at him, taking a breath. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, he just knew he wanted Gee.

“Can I... see you?” 

Gerard smiled warmly, nodding. He moved his hand away from Mikey, moving it between his legs. He popped open the button, then he undid the zipper of his fly, pushing his pants down his thighs to his knees. He hooked his fingers under the waistband of his boxers, pushing them down until his cock was freed from the fabric. Mikey gasped softly as he saw it, eyes wide. He’d never seen another hard cock in person before. It looked, nice? It was a little thicker than his own, perhaps not as long and it twitched slightly. “I’ve shown you mine, can I see yours?”

“Yeah...” Mikey’s breath hitched and he undid his fly, tugging his tight jeans down his slim legs. Mikey lifted his hips up, pushing his own underwear down to join the denim bunched around his ankles. He’d never shown his erection to anyone before and he blushed when he heard Gerard gasp.

“Your cock is so pretty Mikey.” Gerard whispered, voice soft, almost awed. He reached for his own cock, wrapping his fingers around it and giving himself a slow stroke. Mikey swallowed, mesmerised by the sight of him touching himself. He wasn’t sure what to say, or what to do, so he just watched until Gerard broke the silence. “Can I do something for you?”

Mikey swallowed and nodded, even though he wasn’t sure what he meant. “Ok, just sit back and I’ll mike you feel good.” Gerard shifted off his seat, sinking down to his knees before him. He reached up, holding Mikey’s cock at the base and then he leaned in. Mikey swallowed, feeling his breath hot against his shaft. Gerard parted his lips and extended his tongue, dragging it slowly along the underside of Mikey’s dick.

“Shit...” Mikey gasped, his eyes lidding behind his glasses as Gerard licked a path up his dick until he reached the head. Mikey forced himself to open his eyes, wanting to see as he enveloped his head between his lips. “Fuck, Gee...” His breath hitched again as Gerard took him into his mouth. He made it look so... easy. He took Mikey all down to the base in one go, his tongue pressing up against his length as he did. “Gee wow...” It felt amazing, Gerard’s mouth was so soft and wet as he started to move his head back and forth along Mikey’s dick. 

Mikey had seen a bit of porn, not much, but he’d seen that the person getting blown would often have their hand in the hair of the person sucking them off. So he figured he’d give it a try, threading his fingers through Gerard’s jet black hair loosely. Gerard looked up at him, their eyes meeting again as he moved steadily. His tongue was lapping up against him, sending shivers through his body. “Gee.... Gee....” He whispered, his voice high pitched and breathless. He could feel that he was getting close already. “Gee I...” He groaned as his big brother seemed to only increase the suction and he gripped his hair tighter on instinct. Mikey’s hips jerked up as he came down his throat.

Gerard stayed down on him for a few moments, long enough to swallow everything that Mikey had to give him. When he pulled off him Mikey felt breathless, boneless. “Thank you Gee...” He whispered, watching as Gerard moved up from his knees, taking the place beside him again.

“You’re more than welcome Mikes.” He licked his saliva slick lips, reaching a hand for his erection, starting to pump himself again.

“Can I?” Mikey asked, watching him intently.

“Not with with your mouth, not yet. You’ll be too breathless, you might choke.” Instead he reached for Mikey’s hand, bringing it over towards his cock. “Now, wrap your fingers around me.” Gerard shifted his hand and Mikey did as he asked, circling his dick like he did with his own. “Yeah, just like that.” Gerard whispered, eyes on Mikey’s fingers. “Now, stroke me just like you would your own.” 

Mikey started to move his fingers, jerking Gerard off. His dick felt good in his hand, right. He licked his lips, watching his hand as he glided it up and down, up and down. He leaned in to him, kissing Gerard again as he pumped him slightly harder. The kiss was brief, just lips on lips and Mikey whispered. “Please Gee...”

“Yeah Mikes, keep talking.” Gerard whispered, hips rocking up into Mikey’s fist.

Like most things, Mikey had no experience with dirty talk so he just went on instinct. “I... wanna see you cum Gee, I bet you look so beautiful when you do...” Gerard groaned and Mikey pumped him harder. “Thought about you so much these past few days...”

“Yeah, me too. Always...” Gerard moaned, his eyelids fluttering. “You’re so beautiful Mikes... fuck...” He thrust up, shooting his load all over his t-shirt, some dribbling down onto Mikey’s fingers.

Mikey traced his fingers through them, bringing them up to his lips to get his first taste of his brother. He lapped at his fingers lightly, their eyes meeting as he did. “Holy fuck Mikes...” Gerard’s cum tasted saltier than his own, but it was good, Mikey knew he’d want more, he knew he’d get it.

They sat there in comfortable silence for a few moments, relishing the afterglow of their respective orgasms. The only sound was the soft breaths that they made as they got their breath back. “So...” Gerard broke the silence, pulling out a cigarette and lighting up, blowing out a cloud of smoke before continuing. “When did you realise?”

Mikey smiled, settling into his seat and watching him. “That’s a funny story actually...”


End file.
